The Devil's In Your Hands
by AlinaLotus
Summary: Right now, the blood didn't send him into a frenzy; he'd never felt so far away from his past self. The sight before him, the porcelain Hyuuga drenched in her own misery, left him hollow and disgusted. Even a monster like him wanted to protect her.
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings are wildly AU, language, and self-harm. x indicates flasback. I'm sure this is beyond OOC, for both Hinata and Gaara, and I know - oh hell, just read it. **

**It's coming out fairly long, so I've broken it up into multiple chapters. Updates will be frequent. This will most likely be three parts.**

**Feedback is, as ever, greatly appreciated. **

These fickle, fuddled words confuse me  
Like, will it rain today?  
Waste the hours with talking, talking  
These twisted games we're playing

We're strange allies with warring hearts  
What a wild-eyed beast you'll be  
The space between the wicked lies we tell  
And hope to keep safe from the pain

But will I hold you again?  
Will I hold?

But the space between where you're smilin' high  
Is where you'll find me if I get to go  
The space between the bullets in our firefight  
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you

The rain that falls splash in your heart  
Ran like sadness down the window into your room  
The space between our wicked lies  
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain

The space between your heart and mine...

She was thinner than the last time he had seen her. It'd been months, of course, and she'd obviously been on the road- - Lady Tsunade had mentioned a mission that would have taken the Hyuuga heiress and her team away from civilization for at least three weeks - -and was showing the signs that even the most prim kunoichi couldn't hide after that much hard work.

He really detested his role of host, but as the Kazekage and closest ally of the Leaf, he had no choice but to make an appearance at the dinner held in honor of those on their way back to Konoha. His discerning gaze kept falling on her face, and aside from her weight, he noticed other very apparent oddities. No longer did she, as she always used to, drop her eyes when somebody talked to her. There wasn't the usual blush crawling across her cheeks and neck at the merest mention of her, either positive or negative in nature. Instead, her pale eyes looked directly through those speaking to her or about her, and her chin was lifted in a stubborn, defiant way, as though daring anybody to come closer. The aura around her was like the edge of a knife.

This was most certainly not the Hinata Hyuuga he had known for years now. Although their relationship, when viewed on the grander scale, was nothing more than formalities; Naruto of course spoke highly of her, and when he did happen to be visiting the Leaf village, he took residence at the Hyuuga estate. They'd talked, of course, on multiple occasions; in-depth discussions about their respective villages, their training and teammates. Nothing more, if he was honest, than the banter that all ninja, when coming across comrades, shared. Although if he really stopped to think about it, aside from Uzumaki, Hinata was the one other Leaf ninja he knew best. Aside from all that, however, they were nothing more than political allies, ninja working toward the same cause, fighting on the same side.

Unless...but he really doubted that his words could have had such impact on her. After all, she was nearly a jonin now, a skilled and deadly ninja who, though possessing (at the time anyway, Gaara mused) a soft temperament, would no doubt go on to do great things for her village and her clan, as only an heiress could. He couldn't very well accept Lord Hiashi's proposal of a marriage between- - it was just so absurd that he should suggest - -and at Hinata's age - -

"Gaara!" Like a flash, Temari appeared at his side, her eyes narrowed. "Have you been debriefed by the mission leader?" Leave it to Temari to remind him of his abhorred duties. What business was it of his what missions the Leaf took on? But protocol was protocol, and if any harm happened upon Suna in pursuit of Hinata and her team, regardless of how qualified they were for their line of duty, it would be on his shoulders...and for the Kazekage, ignorance most certainly was not bliss.

"Can't you -" Gaara began, but Temari's glare cut him off, and she returned to her spot behind the ponytailed Nara genius, a slight smirk on the corner of her lips the only sign that her usual ill-temper was, for the moment at least, sated.

With an inward sigh, Gaara stood from the head of the table, his green eyes coming to land on Hinata's end. He raised a red eyebrow at her empty seat, slightly impressed (because as Gaara of the Desert he'd never be unnerved) that he'd neither seen nor heard her leave the table.

"She retired for the evening," the medic, Haruno, Gaara remembered, said, noticing his searching eyes. "She hasn't been herself lately, you know." Gaara wondered if there was a suggestion in her voice, or if he was over-analyzing a teammate's professional opinion.

"Reminds me of somebody else I know," Shikamaru drawled, turning away from Temari for a moment, "when a certain...ah, silver-haired sensei isn't around..."

Sakura raised her fist menacingly, a pressure point in her forehead beginning to throb. Gaara pinched the bridge of his nose; when had his life become so...so...

"Troublesome?" Shikamaru ventured toward Gaara, giving one of his shoulders a lazy shrug. "Ask myself the same thing every day." He said, tilting his head toward Temari.

Gaara turned away, hearing a loud THUNK and a muffled groan, and he sighed again as he knew he'd be the one footing the bill for repair on Temari's fan (it wasn't the first and wouldn't be the last time she'd put a man-sized dent in her precious weapon, as Kankuro would attest). Just another one of the many perks of being Kazekage...

Not that he was complaining. Really, it was an ideal job for him, and he truly wanted to protect the Sand and its people with his life. He was powerful enough, of course, and he'd been born into the trade, so to speak. At the end of the day, he simply didn't trust anybody else, aside from Temari and Kankuro, to serve with the level of commitment and loyalty that he did.

He couldn't call it compassion, exactly. He wasn't sure he could _feel_ anything anymore, though his value on the lives of others had certainly risen over the years. He'd always be a freak, housing a monster. No title or amount of political standing could change the past, could change what stories were whispered behind the hands of the villagers who remembered his childhood. He knew the gossip and rumors would follow him to his grave. They didn't necessarily matter, other than instilling in him a stronger will to prove what extents he would go to for his people.

He rounded a darkened corner, stiffening. The coppery smell of blood permeated his senses, the metallic taste of it settling on his tongue; it was thick and pure and almost tantalizing. His pace quickened, and he followed the surrounding scent through two doors, into a small apartment of sorts. He came to a stop outside another door, closed, the chinks of light under the door the only indication that anybody aside from himself was there at all.

He roughly pushed the lock, easily breaking it with an infusion of his chakra. He stood there, shocked and unmoving as he had never been in his entire life.

**oooo**

**x**

"There are worse things to have for a husband than a Kazekage," Hinata countered, rolling a piece of pork between her chopsticks.

Neji shrugged. It mattered little to him, as long as Hinata was consenting, who Lord Hiashi had chosen for her husband. After all, A Hyuuga would have pick of the litter, as Kiba had so eloquently put it. "As long as you wish it."

"Well _I_ think it's romantic," Hanabi said, a dreamy look in her eyes. "I mean, when it comes to arranged marriages, it sure as hell could be a lot worse...he's so mysterious and for real Hinata, he's gorgeous."

Hinata shrugged. She certainly didn't disagree with her sister, but she had little desire to egg her on. Besides, that particular aspect of Gaara wasn't, to her at least, what spurred this decision on. But Hanabi wouldn't be able to understand that yet. Neji perhaps; she'd seen the way her cousin looked at TenTen when he thought nobody else was paying attention.

"I'll be leaving on a mission this evening," Neji said, his hand reflexively rubbing his new ANBU tattoo. "So if the negotiations don't go well..."

Hinata smiled at his concern. "I'll be able to handle it, Neji. Father is on my side, after all."

Neji gave a single nod. "There is no reason the Kazekage should refuse you. Our clan is of the highest, the purest, ninja. The Hyuuga heiress is the most fitting bride for the leader of the Sand."

Hinata warmed at his words, for she too felt they were true.

**x**

Right now, the blood didn't send him into a frenzy; he'd never felt so far away from his past self. The sight before him, the porcelain Hyuuga drenched in her own misery, left him hollow and disgusted. Even a monster like him felt the need, the desire, to protect her.

She was beautiful, as he'd known since the first time he'd seen her, years ago in Konoha. Her skin was smooth and aside from the usual signs of combat that all ninja bore, flawless. Her blue-black hair fell over her shoulders and down her back, the contrast between its darkness and the near-whiteness of her skin nearly artistic. He'd be lying if he said he'd never picture her naked - he was still a man, and not a blind one. Hinata Hyuuga was by far one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen. And yet, her eyes...he'd always thought that's where most of her light was, and in turn, her beauty. But now, they were...dead. Like she'd completely shriveled up emotionally and was robotically going through the motions of being alive.

Hinata didn't look over at him. He doubted she knew he was even there. All she could see, could feel, was the kunai gripped in her hand, held tightly as if it were her life line. The cuts were easy to hide under her usual jacket, he guessed. Two long ones down her arms, and if he looked close enough, he could see a linear scar, used as the guide for when she...Gaara swallowed thickly as his stomach threatened to convulse. There was one along her stomach as well, and if anything, the stark red of her blood accentuated how thin she was.

Her hips were sharp, bones protruding and looking almost, he thought, painful, the skin over them stretched taught. He could nearly count each of her ribs, and her breasts, though at once, he remembered, much larger, did not do her the justice they once had. Her legs were long, though not retaining even a whisper of the muscle tone they used to. Her knees looked ready to give out any second, and her ankles were as sharp as her hips. No woman, especially a kunoichi, should look like this. They should be strong and firm and well-fed, capable of standing their ground and even, as Temari often told him, easily filling out the slinkiest of outfits.

Ninja should never be weak. They should never be shells of their former selves. They shouldn't look as though a mere gust of wind could be the end of them.

And most of all, they should never be, in one word, defeated.

**oooo**

**x**

"Your training," Gaara indicated the training grounds below them, where multiple teams of ninja were gathered, working hard under the strain of a usual day, "is impressive, Hyuuga-san."

Hinata smiled. "How many times do I have to ask you to call me Hinata?"

Their eyes met, Hinata hurriedly looking away. "At least once more, as always, Hyuuga-san."

Hinata sighed. Gaara would always be formal around her...possibly he felt she would want to keep the distance between them. She had, after all, witnessed him at his worst, at his most terrible...but she lived with men as cruel as Gaara once was. Perhaps it was because, as Kurenai had always tried to instill in her, she wanted to give everybody a second chance, that she'd tried to befriend the Kazekage. He'd just seemed so...so lonely, really, and if there was anything Hinata understood, it was the crushing, suffocating cage of loneliness.

"My team has been very good to me."

His arms folded across his chest as ever, Gaara remained impassive. "I didn't say anything about your team."

Hinata's silvery eyes widened. Surely he, the _Kazekage_, wasn't suggesting that she and she alone was impressive. How could he notice something like that when her own father, her flesh and blood, refused to acknowledge the sweat and tears and strain she always pushed herself to?

The branch they were perched on - Gaara preferred to scale along the trees, as he was without them in his own village - swayed in the wind, the only sound now against the distant clash of kunai and shuriken and fists, the rustling of the leaves. Hinata swallowed thickly as she became acutely aware of how close Gaara was standing to her; his presence was like fire, hot sand burning her through her clothes and she thought that if she looked at him right now, she might just flashback to her former self and fall from the tree top in a dead faint.

**x**

**oooo**

His hands were on her. Covered in her blood. In her weakness...she jolted, as though realizing for the first time that he was really there. No, no no no no no. Not this, not now, not _him_.

She pushed against him with all her strength, but his hands were enclosed around her arms, steel-like in their grip and in this state, no matter how desperate she was, there was no winning against Gaara of the Desert.

How would she explain this? How could she? It wasn't...he wouldn't understand. And he wouldn't care, it wasn't like he loved her or needed or even wanted to be by her side, and she...

"No." His voice, low and precise, washed over her, paralyzing her as she gripped the kunai again. "Not this. Not while I'm here."

And he said the words with such possessiveness that she faltered. She looked up at him, his green, green eyes focused on her wounds. What was he doing here, anyway? Her heart leapt as, for a split-second, she entertained the possibility that he'd gone looking for her because he was worried about her.

"This wasn't a part of your mission." Gaara stated, and Hinata's stomach fell. Of course_. The mission_. She was team leader and he would have needed to speak to her about what had happened...

She struggled again, and his grip tightened. "I'm no healer, but I think I can at least manage the bleeding, but you'll need to stand still." He said, his voice pelting against her like a stand storm. His eyes came to land on hers, and she felt giddy, light-headed as he really saw her, now, could tell what she was thinking and how she held, really, no concern for herself.

"What happened...Hinata?"

**oooo**

**x**

"You're joking, right?" Temari said, leaning against her fan. "My brother?"

Hinata blushed. "H-h-he's quite...I m-mean, recently he h-h-has..."

Temari laughed. "Don't sweat it, Hyuuga. I understand...I think." Temari's eyes roved over the heads of those present, coming to land on Shikamaru, who was currently engaged in a shougi match with Kakashi. It was difficult to say right now who had the upper hand, as Sakura was at Kakashi's arm, declaring loudly what an idiot he was and if he wasn't going to play the game properly, he could crawl back into the hole of an apartment he lived in and let her do things the right way.

"She does too, obviously." Temari said with another laugh, as Sakura all-but shoved Kakashi away from the board. "Anyway. Gaara needs somebody like you. You can be soft enough with him, and I gather you've lived your life with difficult men." Temari gestured in the vague direction of the Hyuuga estate with one hand, and toward the end of the park where Shino, Hana, and Kiba were hanging out with the other.

"Do you think...w-will he...?"

Temari shrugged. "I think you're the closest Leaf ninja to him...aside from that knucklehead, anyway. And Gaara knows that, eventually, he'll have to make a good marriage with a top-ranking girl. Better a ninja, so she can understand his line of work. And your family...well, I'm fairly sure your dowry will benefit the Sand in a way it desperately needs right now."

Hinata nodded; she'd been hoping that the considerable amount of money her father was planning to give to her when she became engaged would be a swaying token as well.

"But what I really want to know is why." The humor had left Temari's voice, now, and she looked at Hinata with a serious, interrogative glint in her eye. Right now, Temari was nothing more than a sister concerned about her younger brother.

Hinata lifted her chin, taking a deep swallow. No stuttering, no blushing, and certainly no faltering. Now was the time to convince Temari that she could be, that she was, right for her brother. "He...understands me. He notices me. I feel that around him, I can truly speak. I'm not...drowning in a cage, and I'm not an unworthy parasite. I am strong and capable and he realizes that part of me. I'm not an heiress in name only, something to be ashamed of and hidden away, like a dirty rug shoved under the bed."

"Very convincing. So what you're saying is -"

"He sees me. And nobody ever looks twice at Hinata Hyuuga." Hinata finished, feeling winded, exhausted, but from the satisfied look on Temari's face, she'd gotten her point across.

**x**

**oooo**

She stared at him for a moment, time frozen, it seemed. "Again." Hinata sucked in a breath, trying to steady herself. It had been the thing that had disarmed her the most. Her name, rolling off his lips, his tongue against the roof of is mouth, his full lips curving over the word. Her name, breathy and deep and...

"I - "

"My name." She clarified, "say my name again."

He looked confused, concerned. Maybe he felt that she truly was insane. After all, who in their right mind would do this to themselves?

"I just...never mind." She quickly recovered. "I'll be alright. I'll just clean up in here and meet you in your office to go over the mission, Kazekage-sama."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "If you truly think I would leave you to do this on your own..." He trailed off, reaching for a bathrobe that hung on the back of the door. He knew that, in reality, Hinata's cuts stood a better chance of being properly cleaned and healed by Haruno. And really, if it were him in the situation, she would be his first choice to heal him.

And yet there was a nagging in his mind, pulling at something inside of him. He wanted to be the one to clean her wounds, to be the one to touch her and help her. Aside from that, he felt that the woman before him (and he wondered when she'd gone from 'girl' to 'woman' in his eyes) just might break even more if it were anybody but himself.

He didn't know when he'd become so arrogant. Surely he would have no such meaning to her. At one time they had been possibly affianced, but other than that...although he had begun to look forward to visiting the Leaf after he'd gotten to become familiar with Hinata...he'd understood Temari then better than he ever wanted to then. There was also a large part of himself that secretly felt yes, there were definitely worse things to have for a wife than Hinata Hyuuga.

And he supposed that one night spent together, on his second to last visit to Konoha, had to count for something.

**Lyrics from The Space Between by The Dave Matthews Band. **


	2. Chapter 2

**As a reminder, x indicates flashback. Everything between the bold x's are the flashbacks. Sorry about any confusion. **

But hope is just a stranger, wondering how it got so bad

I die each time you look away  
My heart, my life will never be the same  
This love will take my everything  
One breath, one touch will be the end of me

You could be the final straw that brings me back to earth...

**x**

The idea hadn't really entered her mind at this point. Sure, she'd always wondered how it would feel to be like Neji and TenTen, like Kakashi and Sakura, and even (if not as violent) like Shikamaru and Temari. To be so close to somebody, to touch them and truly _feel_ them. To have somebody look forward to seeing her, to cherish any words exchanged...

But marriage was far from her mind. She simply wanted to be with Gaara, to spend time with him and let him know that hey, there's at least one person (besides Naruto because he was a special breed anyway) who'll overlook your past and the things you've done and the things you were, because who you are and what you are now is what matters.

And that was the Gaara she'd fallen in love with.

She wasn't sure when it had happened, really, but as the months turned into years and the bonds between the Leaf and the Sand grew and strengthened, she'd witnessed sides of Gaara that she never thought possible. The absolute loyalty he had for his people, the power her used to protect them and benefit them, these were the telling signs of a truly good man with a truly good heart. He'd never use anything or anybody for personal gain; it was never about him, at least not anymore.

She almost felt as if the Gaara she'd met at the Chunnin exams and the Gaara she now knew were completely different people from different lives and different times. Surely he wouldn't be the Kazekage he was today without having endured the pain of being coldblooded and ruthless, that much she understood, but he was, for want a better term, reincarnated after the fight in the Forest with Naruto. Hinata wondered if this was a reason she was so fond of Naruto. Her feelings for him were certainly, as they had been for six years now, on the platonic plane, but she still admired him and would always be grateful that he had shown Gaara another way of living.

So she could, really, appreciate his past. Although part of her would always fear him, it was a small part anyway and the caring she felt for him overshadowed anything that could be considered, on his end, a flaw.

She waited nervously, excitedly, for him to arrive. As the heiress to the Hyuuga, it was her duty to accept and host any foreign dignitaries that came into Konoha, as requested by Lady Tsunade and demanded by her father. She never complained, because of this very circumstance: it brought her closer to Gaara, guaranteed they would have to spend time in each other's company.

She liked his siblings, of course. Kankuro was always good for a laugh, and his devotion to his brother and his village was nothing short of passionate. Hinata marveled after Temari. How one woman could be so powerful, so confident and headstrong was very much beyond her, but she always found herself wishing she could have even a quarter of Temari's conviction.

"Ah, Baki!" Hinata greeted the Sand ninja, Gaara's foremost right hand man after Kankuro. "How w-was your journey?"

Baki inclined his head. "Pleasant as ever, Hyuuga-san. Lord Kazekage will be arriving shortly; Lady Hokage met him at the gate. He seems rather...anxious to greet you."

Hinata nodded, a flaming blush crossing her face. "P-p-please, make yourself at home, Baki. Your u-u-usual rooms are ready."

Baki inclined his head once more, a slight smile playing on the visible part of his mouth.

**x**

**oooo**

He carried her to the bed, not sure if she could have even handled the few feet from the bathroom on her own. She didn't seem to protest too much, and he set her carefully on the sheets as though he were setting her on her deathbed. He swallowed against the panic that rose in his throat at that thought.

"I've missed you." Hinata said clearly, as though she'd decided something.

His eyes widened in surprise. Surely nobody had ever professed to missing him, not even his brother and sister.

Hinata shrugged as though she knew what he was thinking. "I've been wanting to tell you that. For a while now." She closed her eyes and tipped her head back toward the ceiling.

"Your team - " Gaara began, but Hinata shook her head.

"No, they don't have a clue. I'm quite the actress, you know."

Gaara said nothing, rolling up the sleeves of her robe, the white silk stained with her blood.

"_Heh_. I guess you wouldn't know, would you, Gaara?" She flinched when he placed his palm flat against her cut, her eyes shooting open. "Wouldn't know a damn thing about me. Not like it matters," She jerked her arm away from him before he could infuse his chakra into her. She was sure that once she felt him, that intimate piece of who he was that was so unique and deeper inside of him than his own heart, she wouldn't be able to live without his chakra completely surrounding her. Kami, it was hard enough just being in the same sodding village as him, let alone the same room, with him hovering above her and his finger tips so warm...

She didn't think it would be this hard, that it would be like watching her heart being ripped from her chest and shredded with a hundred dull shuriken right in front of her. But it was, and it was pure idiocy to think that the last five months had changed anything. She'd gotten worse after the boy's death, but that was to be expected. With nobody to care and no arms to turn to, it only made sense that she delve farther into the blackness Gaara had left her in.

That was the worst thing about this whole rotten business. The business of love. It felt good at first, but in the end you were left drowning in freezing water, the unrelenting waves of memories and the realization of how fucking _worthless_ you are to somebody you'd gladly fight to the death for choking you and thoroughly sapping your will to live any sort of "human" life.

And now here she was, her internal scars open and fresh and more painful than anything she'd ever done, than anything she could ever do, to herself. The blood on the outside was hardly a manifestation of the torrent of madness and loneliness on the inside. And now...and now she knew exactly what Gaara felt, what a Jinchuuriki felt. She'd become him, in his absence.

"I suppose that's it, isn't it?" Hinata said, giving a hollow laugh.

"What's it?" Gaara asked, and Hinata sat up, folding her legs in front of her in a meditative pose.

"You've taken all of me, Kazekage-sama. And now, what will you do with me?"

**oooo**

"So what's her problem?" Temari asked, smacking Shikamaru's hand away as he tried to take the last roll from the basket. "Hands off, Nara. I'm starving."

Shikamaru rubbed his wrist, a welt already forming where Temari had hit him. Ah well. She didn't get her buxom figure by going on insane crash diets like Ino. Women were so troublesome. He glanced at the curve of her chest out of the corner of his eye, his irritation fading somewhat.

"Personally, I think she hasn't grieved properly. Kakashi-sensei says that - "

"Yes, what does _sensei_ say? And why do you even call him that? He hasn't been your teacher for seven years, and you're a jonin now, Sakura."

"Perhaps Sakura-chan enjoys the way 'sensei' sounds in the bedchamber." Sai, who had until this moment remained silent, broke in with one of his stupidly off-putting smiles.

"Alright that's it!" Sakura said, slamming both of her fists onto the table, several long cracks forming under her hands, running the length of the table. "I've had enough outta you two and the next one to insinuate anything about my personal life better be ready to take it outside, got that?"

_Insinuate? Who does she think she's kidding? _Shikamaru thought, but kept his mouth closed. Sai's smile was unwavering as he, too, seemed to feel that silence was the best course of action for now.

Sakura cleared her throat loudly, then turned to Temari. "It's because of that boy...the one that died. She'll always see his blood on her hands."

**oooo**

**x**

It wasn't her first mission as team leader, or even her twentieth. The job was old hat by now, and she'd more or less made a decent name for herself as reliable and hard-working. Tsunade had no problem entrusting Hinata with her more difficult ninja, as her meek outward manner seemed a calming effect on those others would have had a much more difficult time with. And with her formidable training (after all, one doesn't study under a genjutsu master and a genius for a cousin without coming away a better shinobi for the experience), if any of those difficult ninja stepped out of their place, she would have no trouble dealing with them.

She would have willing gone in his place. While she'd never met the genin before, he was on her team now, even if only for this one mission, and that made him one of her boys. She would do anything, _anything_, to protect him.

He was in the stage of adolescence before manhood, arms and legs a bit too long, lanky and awkward. He reminded her so much of Lee, because whatever usual "ninja" abilities Haruka lacked, he made up for with passion. That just made the whole experience harder to bear, because Lee was a dear friend and she'd always felt that, around him, she wasn't prejudged by her name and lack of abilities.

The whole thing should never have happened. It was a simple mission, deliver this package from this rich noble to another rich noble, very much D-rank and to be honest, Hinata had been looking forward to something simple. She didn't want to have to think, didn't want to have to focus. Her will was weak, and she felt that, had Tsunade insisted on B-rank or above, the string on which she was already so severely wound would have snapped.

"And Hinata," Tsunade had said, as Hinata turned stiffly to leave her office. Pale eyes met warm, golden ones, and Hinata dropped her head respectfully. "He's just a man. Nothing more."

Hinata flushed, but she nodded before shutting the door behind her. If she would have had more strength, perhaps, she would have informed Lady Tsunade how very wrong she was.

Gaara could never be 'just a man' to her, and everybody knew it.

**x**

**oooo**

"Sai," Sakura said, after Shikamaru and Temari and disappeared upstairs. Sakura didn't want to think about what they would be getting up to, as Temari's threats that Shikamaru had better not be lazy this time left little doubt in her mind as to the nature of their current activities.

Sai set down his mug of tea, his face impassive as always. "Hai, Sakura-chan?"

"Just what the _hell_ does everybody think is going on between me and Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura demanded, tightening the knot of her headband as though preparing for a fight.

"Nothing more than usual, I'm sure." Sai shrugged, as though he had no clue what she was referring to.

"I'm serious! Shika nearly told all of Suna that Kakashi-sensi and I-"

"So you finally did it, eh?" A voice behind Sakura said. "Banged your teacher." Kankuro clarified, taking a seat at the table as Sakura raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why you -" Sakura snarled, raising a fist, while Kankuro thrust his hand into his pocket and fished around for a moment before pulling out a wad of cash and tossing it to Sai.

"Ah, many thanks." Sai said, tucking the money into his satchel.

"Hey, fair's fair, man. I just feel like an idiot for betting against you. I mean, you practically walked in on them, right?"

"EH?"

Sai smiled, dodging the all-too familiar fist of his female teammate.

**oooo**

"It's taken me a while," Hinata admitted, watching Gaara's hands with unwavering eyes. It wasn't necessarily what he was doing with them that she found interesting, just the hands themselves. They were fair, of course, as all his skin was. His fingers were long and nimble, nails cut short and no sign of dirt beneath them. He'd always had a higher standard of hygiene; he seemed opposite of his older brother in that respect. His hands were those of a man's; strong and gentle at the same time. Actually, it sort of surprised her that he was capable of such gentleness.

Although, after that night together (which right now didn't seem as log ago as it really was), nothing should have surprised her about the Kazekage.

"For?" He asked, and her spine tingled at the pitch of his voice.

"To figure out why you left me. Why you didn't want me."

Gaara looked up, green eyes melting into silver ones, neither of them blinking. After a moment, he looked back to her arms. "Is that what you think?"

Hinata snorted. "It's what I _know_, Kazekage-sama. But I don't blame you. I know that I'm to be ashamed of the things I've done. Haruka is dead by my hand and the only man I've ever loved is sickened at the sight of me." Hinata gestured to Gaara's scowl.

"Hinata." Gaara's voice was sharp.

"I am no match for you. This I realize now. I wish...I wish I could be different, then, Gaara. I - -"

"Hinata." Gaara repeated, interrupting her. This time she took a shallow breath, his hand flying to her throat, holding it and Hinata licked her lips at the thought that one grasp, one good squeeze of his hand, would strangle her.

It wasn't so far from how she felt about him every day, actually.

**As ever, feedback is greatly appreciated. Next and possibly final part should be out soon. Lyrics are from Love Song Requiem by Trading Yesterday and I highly suggest to listening to it, as it conveys perfectly Hinata's emotions. Thanks to Amber for recc'ing it. **


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